Friday, September 30, 2011

25. A Boon

"A boon? I didn't really DO anything to deserve a boon, your majesty..." I said.

"Ah, but you DID! You found and returned my magical trident! And that's worth a lot to me! So chose!"

"I am pretty content with my life..."

"But you must dream of something! And make it BIG because, after all I am the KING of all these oceans and it would not be fitting to grant a small boon!"

"I am just a rather simple country constable..."

"That's IT! I can make you the Chief of Police of Ocean City! Bravo!"

"But I never liked bureaucratic jobs--I mean just sitting around drinking coffee and pushing papers..."


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

24 Trident Returned


Seated on a throne before me was surely the mythical King Neptune!

And he was as real as you or me!

"We took the liberty, your highness, of bringing the one who found your lost trident back with us to return it to you in person." said Saul Sole. "I would like to present Constable Crab."

"Uh--your majesty?" I said.

"We thank you, Constable Crab, for returning our trident--our magical symbol of authority." King Neptune said.  "It is customary to grant a boon to anyone doing a great favor for the ruler of the oceans of the earth--ahem--so what can we do for you?"



Tuesday, September 27, 2011

23. KING Neptune


The closest Neptunian looked at best curious and at worst hungry

Much as my great interest in things out-of-this-world astronomical was--as the Neptunian moved closer it seemed best to get the heck out of there!

The trident was hot in my claw as I shouted: "KING Neptune, please!"


Monday, September 26, 2011

22. Neptune

Holy smoke! Where on earth were we?

"Uh--Constable Crab," said one of the fish in black, "were you thinking of KING Neptune when you were wanting to go to him to return his trident?"

"Well, I repeated the name Neptune three times..." I said.

"Wrong!" said the fish in black, "You have brought us to Planet Neptune! And these Neptunians don't look exactly pleased to have visitors!"


Saturday, September 10, 2011


Hi Fans!

I'm gonna take a short vacation.

See ya back at your favorite computer monitor in a week or so...!

Fun to you!   


Friday, September 9, 2011

21. Try

The trident! 

It produced a free pizza and a hurricane for me--maybe it would produce a fictitious mythic figure.

These bizarre fish in black seem convinced that it would.

I might as well give it a try.

I held the trident up high as I supposed might be the way to hold a magical talisman if one believed in magical talismans--closed my eyes--started walking--and thought "Neptune, Neptune, Neptune."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

20. Going Home

"I would like to. I would like to meet your King Neptune--but it is probably a long way to travel and I have my work here.

"Nah," Isaiah said, "Its a lot closer than ya think! You got the magic trident, havantcha?

Well, all ya gotta do is think o' Neptune and start walkin'--the trident gets ya there instantaneously."

"But I don't believe in magic." I protested--"and I don't even know what Neptune looks like or where he lives." 

"You got the trident." Isaih retorted, "It knows what ta do. Ya don't hafta believe in anything-- it still works!  Just like Dorothy's red slippers knew how ta get her back home to Kansas. And in this case ya don't even hafta click yer heels three times, ha!"


"NO BUTS! Just think the name "Neptune" and don't forget about US 'cause we wanna go back home too!


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

19. No myth

"King Neptune? You mean the party guy in charge of the ceremony for people crossing the equator in ships?" I asked.

"No, not that phony. I mean the real King Neptune." Saul Sole replied.

"But King Neptune is only a myth!" I said reasonably.

"Oh, Better not let HIM hear you say that!" Saul said, "He gets very upset whenever anybody says he is only a myth and sometimes reacts with storms, strong currents, riptides and whirlpools."  

"But isn't he a myth?" I said--still not convinced.

"Nope. He's as real as you and me!" Saul replied. "Tell you what-- you can go with us and return his lost trident to him in person if you like."


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

18. Whose Trident

"Good morning, sir." one of the fish in black said, "Nice trident you've got there."

"Thanks." I said.

"We have a--er--friend, who is missing his trident. It looks just like yours! Would you mind if we looked at your trident a little more carefully?"

"As a matter of fact," I said, "I recently found this trident on some underwater rocks near here..."

"Ah, well," said the fish in black, "our friend's trident has some very peculiar characteristics--have you noticed anything unusual since you found it?"

"I sure have-- and it's getting as hot as a firecracker to hold the longer I have it! And it seems to know what I am thinking and it makes things happen--like provides me with pizza and makes hurricanes blow--and..."

"That's our friend's trident. No doubt about it! You might even say it is magic, couldn't you?" said the fish in black.

"I have never believed in magic--but if I did I would say this trident is magical!"

"Ah yes, Mr.--uh..."

"Crab. Constable Crab. I am the constable of this portion of the ocean from about ten fathoms down in the water and up the beach to the high-tide mark and from the harbor pier to the river mouth."

"So you are a busy fellow--and an honest one."

"Yes I am and I try to be."

"I am Saul Sole. I am an adviser to King Neptune. This is my Chief of Staff, Isiah Halibut."


Friday, September 2, 2011

17.Strange Visitors

While back in Crab Country:

Whoo! That hurricane was no joke!

I picked myself up  from where I had been blown over and rolled away by the wind and checked to see if I was all together.

I was. 

And I had not lost my grip on the magical trident--though it was getting too hot to hold with any comfort.

It looked to me like the hurricane had been a local disaster but had not caused any damage farther away.

I guess it was just the trident showing me what Bahama weather could be like. Not so pretty after all.

I walked down the beach and headed on through the surf into deeper water to see if anyone out there needed any help--and saw a strange sight.

Two fish--they looked like haddock or hake, halibut or sole--in black suits and dark glasses were heading toward me.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

16. Fish in Black

"Lucky we saved these costumes from Halloween, yes, Boss?"

"Yes. Now tell me honestly--how do I look?"

"You make that outfit look good!"

"That's what I thought! Now rehearse for me my plan." 

"We go in costume to to the center of the part of the ocean  where the impossible hurricane hit--lucky it is not too far from here--and we snoop around to find out if anybody has found and is misusing Neptune's trident..."

"I don't like the word snoop--investigate is better."

"Right! We investigate who might have found the trident and then..."

"Ho, ho! We use the old "Fish in Black" routine to convince the finder of the trident to give it to us--so we can return it to its proper owner, King Neptune."