Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wolf and Dog

Hello, Friends of Constable Crab.

Next I am going to tell a twice-told tale--not about our favorite Crab--but about two animals which lived once upon a time in Russia. I truly hope you will enjoy it.

Please click on my other story time blog:

And the Best of the Best to you,



Friday, October 14, 2011

28. Boon

Two weeks free!

This IS the life for a crab!!!


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

27. Package Boon

"Uh, Boss?" Isaiah whispered to Saul.

"Isaiah! We're discussing serious...what do YOU want now?"

"I got an idea about a boon..."

"From you WE need an idea? Get real, flatfish!"

"But you could offer Crab a package deal..."

"PACKAGE D... you nincompoop! What kind of package deal?" 

"We already know what he has wished for in the past--just offer him that..."

"You numbskull-- like strawberry tarts with Starfish, pizza, Top Detective for his part of the reef, two free weeks vacation in the Bahamas...? 

"Yeah. That package. Try it." 

"Well...OK. Why not?" 

Saul looked from his aide to King Neptune and then to me.

"Sire," he said to King Neptune, "We think Constable Crab would like this package deal for his boon: Two free weeks at a first-class hotel in the Bahamas with all the trimmings, some strawberry tarts with his buddy Starfish, a hot pizza with everything and to be Top Detective for his part of the reef."

"Would that package boon suit you, Constable?" King Neptune asked.

"Sounds wonderful--if the Bahama weather is good." I replied.

"We can guarantee there will be no hurricane during your Bahama visit." King Neptune said--then, raising the now cool trident, he commanded: "Let this package deal boon be done NOW in my name!"

Monday, October 3, 2011

26. Boon Suggestions

"Saul!" King Neptune cried. "Come closer, Counselor, and give us some advise!" 

When the sole was comfortably close, King Neptune whispered: "What boon could we grant to Constable Crab for finding and returning my trident to me?"

"Your majesty," Saul Sole whispered back into King Neptune's ear, "there are some traditional precedents as to royal boon giving. You could give the crab your daughter's hand in marriage..."

"I hardly think Ariel would be very happy as Mrs. Constable Crab, Saul." King Neptune whispered back.

"Or you could offer him half your kingdom. That is often done by kings giving boons..."

"But then I would only have half of my seven seas! Only three and a half seas? That's really not enough for my sort of majesty. Come on Saul be sensible!" 


Friday, September 30, 2011

25. A Boon

"A boon? I didn't really DO anything to deserve a boon, your majesty..." I said.

"Ah, but you DID! You found and returned my magical trident! And that's worth a lot to me! So chose!"

"I am pretty content with my life..."

"But you must dream of something! And make it BIG because, after all I am the KING of all these oceans and it would not be fitting to grant a small boon!"

"I am just a rather simple country constable..."

"That's IT! I can make you the Chief of Police of Ocean City! Bravo!"

"But I never liked bureaucratic jobs--I mean just sitting around drinking coffee and pushing papers..."


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

24 Trident Returned


Seated on a throne before me was surely the mythical King Neptune!

And he was as real as you or me!

"We took the liberty, your highness, of bringing the one who found your lost trident back with us to return it to you in person." said Saul Sole. "I would like to present Constable Crab."

"Uh--your majesty?" I said.

"We thank you, Constable Crab, for returning our trident--our magical symbol of authority." King Neptune said.  "It is customary to grant a boon to anyone doing a great favor for the ruler of the oceans of the earth--ahem--so what can we do for you?"



Tuesday, September 27, 2011

23. KING Neptune


The closest Neptunian looked at best curious and at worst hungry

Much as my great interest in things out-of-this-world astronomical was--as the Neptunian moved closer it seemed best to get the heck out of there!

The trident was hot in my claw as I shouted: "KING Neptune, please!"


Monday, September 26, 2011

22. Neptune

Holy smoke! Where on earth were we?

"Uh--Constable Crab," said one of the fish in black, "were you thinking of KING Neptune when you were wanting to go to him to return his trident?"

"Well, I repeated the name Neptune three times..." I said.

"Wrong!" said the fish in black, "You have brought us to Planet Neptune! And these Neptunians don't look exactly pleased to have visitors!"


Saturday, September 10, 2011


Hi Fans!

I'm gonna take a short vacation.

See ya back at your favorite computer monitor in a week or so...!

Fun to you!   


Friday, September 9, 2011

21. Try

The trident! 

It produced a free pizza and a hurricane for me--maybe it would produce a fictitious mythic figure.

These bizarre fish in black seem convinced that it would.

I might as well give it a try.

I held the trident up high as I supposed might be the way to hold a magical talisman if one believed in magical talismans--closed my eyes--started walking--and thought "Neptune, Neptune, Neptune."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

20. Going Home

"I would like to. I would like to meet your King Neptune--but it is probably a long way to travel and I have my work here.

"Nah," Isaiah said, "Its a lot closer than ya think! You got the magic trident, havantcha?

Well, all ya gotta do is think o' Neptune and start walkin'--the trident gets ya there instantaneously."

"But I don't believe in magic." I protested--"and I don't even know what Neptune looks like or where he lives." 

"You got the trident." Isaih retorted, "It knows what ta do. Ya don't hafta believe in anything-- it still works!  Just like Dorothy's red slippers knew how ta get her back home to Kansas. And in this case ya don't even hafta click yer heels three times, ha!"


"NO BUTS! Just think the name "Neptune" and don't forget about US 'cause we wanna go back home too!


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

19. No myth

"King Neptune? You mean the party guy in charge of the ceremony for people crossing the equator in ships?" I asked.

"No, not that phony. I mean the real King Neptune." Saul Sole replied.

"But King Neptune is only a myth!" I said reasonably.

"Oh, Better not let HIM hear you say that!" Saul said, "He gets very upset whenever anybody says he is only a myth and sometimes reacts with storms, strong currents, riptides and whirlpools."  

"But isn't he a myth?" I said--still not convinced.

"Nope. He's as real as you and me!" Saul replied. "Tell you what-- you can go with us and return his lost trident to him in person if you like."


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

18. Whose Trident

"Good morning, sir." one of the fish in black said, "Nice trident you've got there."

"Thanks." I said.

"We have a--er--friend, who is missing his trident. It looks just like yours! Would you mind if we looked at your trident a little more carefully?"

"As a matter of fact," I said, "I recently found this trident on some underwater rocks near here..."

"Ah, well," said the fish in black, "our friend's trident has some very peculiar characteristics--have you noticed anything unusual since you found it?"

"I sure have-- and it's getting as hot as a firecracker to hold the longer I have it! And it seems to know what I am thinking and it makes things happen--like provides me with pizza and makes hurricanes blow--and..."

"That's our friend's trident. No doubt about it! You might even say it is magic, couldn't you?" said the fish in black.

"I have never believed in magic--but if I did I would say this trident is magical!"

"Ah yes, Mr.--uh..."

"Crab. Constable Crab. I am the constable of this portion of the ocean from about ten fathoms down in the water and up the beach to the high-tide mark and from the harbor pier to the river mouth."

"So you are a busy fellow--and an honest one."

"Yes I am and I try to be."

"I am Saul Sole. I am an adviser to King Neptune. This is my Chief of Staff, Isiah Halibut."


Friday, September 2, 2011

17.Strange Visitors

While back in Crab Country:

Whoo! That hurricane was no joke!

I picked myself up  from where I had been blown over and rolled away by the wind and checked to see if I was all together.

I was. 

And I had not lost my grip on the magical trident--though it was getting too hot to hold with any comfort.

It looked to me like the hurricane had been a local disaster but had not caused any damage farther away.

I guess it was just the trident showing me what Bahama weather could be like. Not so pretty after all.

I walked down the beach and headed on through the surf into deeper water to see if anyone out there needed any help--and saw a strange sight.

Two fish--they looked like haddock or hake, halibut or sole--in black suits and dark glasses were heading toward me.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

16. Fish in Black

"Lucky we saved these costumes from Halloween, yes, Boss?"

"Yes. Now tell me honestly--how do I look?"

"You make that outfit look good!"

"That's what I thought! Now rehearse for me my plan." 

"We go in costume to to the center of the part of the ocean  where the impossible hurricane hit--lucky it is not too far from here--and we snoop around to find out if anybody has found and is misusing Neptune's trident..."

"I don't like the word snoop--investigate is better."

"Right! We investigate who might have found the trident and then..."

"Ho, ho! We use the old "Fish in Black" routine to convince the finder of the trident to give it to us--so we can return it to its proper owner, King Neptune."


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

15. Meanwhile

Meanwhile, in another part of the ocean:

"You wanted to see me, Isiah?"

"Uh, Boss--I may have some information about the whereabouts of the missing trident..."

"Oh so you MAY have some INFORMATION! Its the TRIDENT  I WANT dumbkopf! Not stupid information!"

"Oh, I know, I know, Sir! The Trident! Well I have received some information that may help..." 


"Uh, yes boss! Trident!  Well, it seems there has been a hurricane in a part of the world where there never has been a hurricane before so someone may have found the magic trident and could be experimenting with its awesome power..."

"I'll awesome power YOU if you don't get back to me with that trident very soon-- hmmm. Hurricane you say? Sounds promising."

"Yes. And if you will come..."

"Shut it! I have an idea! I'll go with you to the center of where the hurricane happened.  That is probably where the finder of the trident is experimenting! And we'll use the old "Fish in Black" routine to get it back!"

"Brilliant, Boss!"

"Yes--I am!"


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

14.Ill Wind

"Ahhh." I thought--

Everything perfect.

But wait a minute. 

Suddenly everything got darker and everything started to move. The wind started to blow so hard my beach chair turned over, collapsed and was swept away.  Rain began to fall so heavily everything was drenched.

I had asked the trident for Bahama weather right where I lived and it had given me Bahama weather with a vengeance: a Bahama hurricane! 

And the trident felt a little warmer.


Monday, August 29, 2011

13. The Life

As long as I held the magic trident everything I wanted simply appeared.

Soon I had not only the perfect weather of the Bahamas but all the frills I had dreamed of--warm sand--beach chair--tall cool drink served by pretty, tan shrimp.

The LIFE I had always dreamed of! 

And NO problems--well, one little problem--the magic trident kept getting warmer.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

12 Good Weather


There could be no doubt of it. That trident was some kind of good luck charm!


So maybe I should stop fooling around and get some bigger things done!

Go the the Bahamas for sunshine and perfect weather?--POOH!

I'd get that perfect weather RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW!

"Do you hear that, Trident?! I want perfect sunny weather like they have in the Bahamas HERE and NOW!"

And things brightened up and the water got warmer immediately!



Friday, August 26, 2011

11. Pizza

"Maybe I'll run a little test." I thought. "I am feeling a little hungry so I will think of food and see what happens."

There was a knock at the office door and a pizza delivery clam was there.

"You Constable Crab?" he asked.

"I am." I answered.

"Then here's a free hot large size pizza--with everything--from the Hasty Tasty Pizza Shoppe."

"But I didn't order..." I started to say.

"'At's all right. We give one free pizza away every week--good advertising, ya' know. An' we pick one name at random from the phone book and your name was the one chose! 

"Congratulations an' here's your pizza!"



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

10. Warmer


This was almost too much of a good thing.

This sudden run of good luck--more in one morning than I usually had in months or even years...

Something was very fishy.

And it all seemed to start when I found this trident!

I have never believed in magic or talismans or anything like that but this string of bizarre coincidences was just too much--and it did seem that this cool trident was somehow causing the things to happen to me.

I was still carrying it and there was something else odd abut it.

It seemed to be getting warmer!


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

9. Bahamas

Wow! Me, Top Detective!

And I never thought the Ocean City Police even knew I existed!

I was  excited--Effie was excited--and I really didn't know what to do next!

"I guess I 'll just stay here and continue with the work I always do." I said to Effie. "This is a bit sudden!"

I was thinking I needed some time--maybe some time away from my usual distractions--to decide what to do.
Just then my good friend Ollie walked in.

"Hi, Constable." He said. "I was hoping you would be in. I won a couple of tickets to the Bahama Islands for a two week vacation---hotel, meals, car rental--everything paid, but you have to use 'em now and I can't go.

"I thought maybe you would like to use them? Anyway, here they are. Bye!" 

And  he walked out leaving me with a couple of tickets and wondering what was going on!


Monday, August 22, 2011

8. Promotion

Starry and I parted at the cafe and I continued to my office still carrying the trident I had found.

Effie, my walrus secretary, met me at the door.

"Hi, Effie. Look at the cool trident I found out in the rocks."

"Very pretty, Constable. Here is an envelope that was just hand-delivered for you. It looks important."

"I opened the envelope. Inside was a letter from the Ocean City Police Department.

"Dear Constable Crab," it said, "Congratulations for a job well done. 

We have reviewed your outstanding performance as a reef constable and have decided that you should be immediately promoted to Chief of Detectives for your area. 

This will mean tripling your present salary and giving you a larger cost of living and housing  allotment. 

You may stay in your present reef location or come to the city to work. Whatever you decide is all right with us. 

Best wishes in your continued excellent work.  

A. Frump, Chief of Ocean City Police."

Friday, August 19, 2011

7. Surprize Desert

 The tempura was delicious.

Starry and I finished and were having a nice after lunch chat when the waitress came by again with the desert menus.

"Do you have a little room for desert?" she asked.

"Oh, why not--lets!" Starry said and we accepted the menus.

What I hoped to find listed was my very favorite desert--strawberry tart--but it was not on the menu.

"Yummy!" Starry commented, "They have Orange Sherbet with Chocolate Flakes and Hot Apple Pie with Cheddar Cheese..."

But before we could make a decision, the  waitress appeared again carrying a silver tray with two deserts.

"These deserts are not on the list," she said, "but our chef baked them for his own family this morning. 

"When he heard that the famous Constable Crab and his friend Starry Starfish were our guests he sent them out with his compliments--on the house. 

"He hopes you will try them and enjoy them. 

"They are his own specialty: Strawberry Tarts."  


Thursday, August 18, 2011

6. Fern Special

 We walked together into my reef and as we passed a little restaurant Starry said: "Hey, Constable. How about a bite of lunch? I'll treat!"

"Sounds good to me!" I said, and we made our way into the place.

"They used to have such a wonderful chef here." Starry said to me as the hostess was showing us to our table, "His name was Yamamoto and he made the most delicious  Bracken Fern with Tempura Mushrooms! They were my all-time favorites, but he retired a couple of years ago."

When our waitress came to the table and handed us our menus, she said: "You might like to try our Special of the Day, Bracken Fern with Tempura Mushrooms

"Our new head chef, Wally Yamamoto, the son of our old retired chef, has just started working here today. He has learned all his father's secrets and people say his cooking is just as good as his father's was!" 

"Wow! That's pretty amazing, Constable!" Starry said,  "Let's try that Bracken Fern with Tempura Mushroom Special!"

"Sounds good." I said, but I had a funny feeling about this second odd coincidence since I picked up the peculiar trident--which I was still carrying!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

5. Starry Appears

Meanwhile, back in Constable Crab's part of the ocean:

"This is QUITE a find!" Constable Crab thought to himself as he turned the strange object he had found over in his claws. "I sure wish Starry was here to see it with me... uh...STARRY?!"

"Hello, Constable. Nice to meet you out here."

"But, Starry! What in the world are YOU doing out here?"

"Oh, I just felt like taking a walk. Why? What's up?"

"I found this odd thing--and the oddest part of it is that just when I thought I would like you to be here with me to see it--HERE YOU ARE!"

"Not so weird, Constable. As I said, I thought I would take a walk a while ago and here I am."

"But, Starry, what a coincidence! Have you ever taken a walk in this part of the ocean at this time of day before?!"

"Well no. But my day is not so routine that I always do the same things at the same time, ya know. I am not a perfect creature of habit. I still have a bit o' free will!"

"OK, OK. Anyway it is wonderful to have you here! Take a look at this thing I found!"

"Cool! Looks like a trident. I know what it is, 'cause I've seen pictures--but I never saw one in person before, ya know."

"I haven't either. How do you think it got out here?"

"Well I don't know. People up there are always droppin' things in the water! It's a constant rain of stuff."

"But--a TRIDENT?!"


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

4. The Word Goes Out

 "All right, Isiah," Saul said to his Chief of Staff shortly after the meeting with sorrowing Father Neptune, "You know the drill. The King has misplaced his trident again, so I want you to..."

"Find it?"

"Yeah, Dumbkopf! Find it! But not only find it, but be quiet about finding it! Neptune's trident is one-of-a-kind magic powerful! If it ever got into the wrong hands the world would be in BIG trouble!"

"Chee! I dunno--where do you think I might start looking? Most of the world is ocean and you know Neptune's antics when he--uh--indulges in a little Joy Juice--and that fast bunch he runs with--heck, the trident could be anywhere from Maine to Madagascar."

"Or offshore Terra del Fuego and a hundred fathoms down. I know. I know. Well, you knew when you took this job that it was not all tea and cakes and you halibuts are famous for knowing what's going on at the bottom--so get going and bring me that trident PRONTO! Got me?"

"I'm on my way Boss!


Monday, August 15, 2011

3. Lost Trident

Meanwhile, in another part of the ocean, this conversation was taking place:

"OH, Drat and Pooh, Saul! It's GONE! I've LOST it!"

"Now, now, Your Majesty, Maybe you've just misplaced it...?"

"Nope!  I've looked everywhere that I usually put it and it's GONE!"

 "Have you looked in the...?"

"Oh, Saul, I have looked everywhere. It was that party I went to with the squids and the porpoises! They are such a fast crowd and we were all over the place and I had too much Joy Juice to drink as I sometimes do..."

"You DO love that Joy Juice!"

"Saul. What shall I do? YOU are my First Counselor--so  give me some council!"

"Well your trident is your most famous symbol of authority, Father Neptune, and it is also a bit magical I believe?"

"Oh, more than a BIT, Saul! Why with that TRIDENT I can do wonders, but without it I am just another old merman!"

 "Then as your First Councilor, I advise you to take it easy, sir. Relax! I will find it for you or my name ain't Saul the Sole!"

"Oh, good, Saul! I feel better already! GO GET  IT, SAUL!"

Saturday, August 13, 2011

2. The Object

Caught in the mossy rocks near the path was a strange, beautiful object.

I approached it quickly but cautiously.

It looked like a weapon of some sort--longer than a sword but shorter than a spear--and made of some kind of silvery, goldy metal. 

It was forkish in shape--a big fork with three tines--like maybe a fishing spear.

I gingerly picked it up. 

It somehow seemed to be made to be handled with respect. 

Lightweight, but heavy enough--perfect balance--and some old words came to my  mind: "N'er have ya' seen such foin craaftsmanship!" 

The point of each of the three fork tips was  tipped with a sparkling gem--real diamond, I guessed.

It was somehow familiar to me--I had seen something like this before, somewhere, sometime. 

I brandished it a bit. It made me feel different--powerful!