I was having a leisurely dinner at my favorite sea-food restaurant, "Father Neptune's" when my friend "Starry" Starfish (you will remember him from my "Twisted Claw" story) hurried up--looking very distraught.
"Hello, Starry." I said. "Is something the matter?"
"Something certainly IS the matter!" Starry said. "You have heard no doubt, Constable, of the famous rock music group, "The Seven Sardines" ?"
"Yes, I have, though I must admit I am not overly fond of their music." I honestly replied.
ONE OF THE SARDINES IS MISSING!" Starry blurted excitedly in one breath.
...
And THAT was the "Strange Case of the Twisted Claw".
You must admit it was QUITE a thrilling and unusual adventure.
But since you are still here, I suppose you are ready for another story--so I will thumb through my casebook for another one...
Ahhh yes! THIS one will do quite nicely!
It was one of my most intriguing cases.
I call it: "The Mystery of the Last Sardine".
...
You will want to know about Polly Polyp and "Starry" Starfish.
Polly rewarded Starry and I with big hugs for our brave journey to rescue her.
"I will forever be grateful to both of you for helping me!" she said, giving us each a very nice hug.
(It was the first time I had ever been hugged by a polyp and it was quite charming!)
I think Starry hoped to renew his earlier more intimate friendship--but he had to be satisfied with the hug because Polly waved goodbye and was off on a swift sea current.
We both knew that Polly WAS a solitary polyp in her heart and could not change her nature--which was to simply be alone most of the time.
So Starry and I made our way back home with the very good feeling that we had not only accomplished our mission--but had done it peacefully without hurting anyone.
...
Crawly Crustacean--the most feared of the lobster tribe--started a new life as an elder friend of Jellyfish.
He was much in demand as a story teller.
Young Jellyfish especially would crowd around begging to hear more tales of his exploits as a dashing young lobster.
And the last we heard of Crawly, he was well-liked by all, living an exemplary life and was starting to write his memoirs.
...
Though Polly was a "solitary" Polyp, she had made many friends among her Jellyfish relatives and she lost no time in explaining to them her problem--that is-- Crawly Crustacian's problem.
"Crawly is not really bad", she told them, "he has had some bad habits in the past but now he's just a lonely blind old lobster with a twisted claw.
He needs some friends and I am moving on--would some of you be willing to look in on him from time to time--and maybe read to him and occasionally bring him little presents for friendship's sake?"
Well everyone knows how soft hearted Jellyfish are!
They immediately agreed to befriend Crawly and promised Polly that she need have no fears about that.
They said being friends with old lobsters was one of the things they liked best of all and they could hardly wait to hear some of his stories about the old days when he was the terror of the seas!
...
"Here they come!" Starry and Polly shouted together.
And sure enough, Jellyfish by ones and twos and threes and dozens came drifting into sight on the fast sea current!
More and more and more Jellyfish!
Jellyfish!!
JELLYFISH!!!
It was a wonderful thing to see!
...
"OK," Polly said--"Stand back. I am going to broadcast a strong come hither call to my Jellyfish cousins on our family wavelength!
It only works for our Jellyfish Family, of course, so I couldn't use it to call for you to come rescue me--but HERE GOES!!"
...
"Polly, Starry!" I shouted as soon as I was close enough for them to hear me. "We are SAFE! Polly can GO! There is no more danger here at all!"
"What about Crawly?" Starry asked when I came up to them, "Isn't he going to fight us?"
"No! He admits he was wrong to keep Polly here against her will and says she can go whenever she wants!"
"Oh my! That is WONDERFUL NEWS!" Polly exclaimed. "Let's get going right now!"
"Just a minute, Polly! Crawly says he's very sorry he kept you but he will be very lonely when you go--but I've got a good idea! YOU are a solitary saltwater polyp--but don't you have hundreds of Jellyfish Cousins?"
"Hundreds?!" Polly laughed out loud--"Millions!"
"And wouldn't some of them come here to live if you asked them to?"
"Sure! This is a nice part of the ocean and they like to drift anyway--I am sure they would come here if I asked."
"Well, ASK!" I said.
...
Now I began to feel quite differently toward the poor lobster.
Poor old, blind, crippled thing--I actually began to pity him.
All he had was his fierce looks and reputation to his name--and now I knew I could easily finish him off all by myself if I wanted to--but somehow I didn't want to because I knew that "It takes all kinds of creatures to make the world."
So we had won.
Crawly had said--and I could see now that he could not stop us by force--that Polly was free to go--but I didn't have it in my heart to utterly destroy him.
I could at least save his self-respect--and maybe even help him out a bit. I had a new idea.
I quickly turned away from him and scuttled back to Starry and Polly...
...
"Crawly--Crawly! Now that I am very close to you (go ahead and feel me with your antenna if you want to--) I can see that instead of a dangerous foe--you are--you are--just a fraud."
"Well Crab. Now you know the truth.
I am just a blind, crippled pussy-cat and not the strong terrible monster that everyone thinks I am.
I was hoping I could scare you off like all the rest--but you are so darn DETERMINED!"
"But WHY did you kidnap poor Polly Polyp?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm just a lonely old lobster.
I liked to have her around for company and I didn't think she minded all that much--really--until you showed up to "rescue" her. I am very sorry and she can go whenever she wants to."
"And how about your minions that will come to your aid when you call them?"
"I had a lot of so-called friends when I was the toughest lobster in the neighborhood--but now they have all gone away."
"I guess," sighed the lobster, "I don't have a friend in the world, Crab."
...
I will admit that what I planned to do was to flatter Crawly so that I could get very near to him--trick him about an imaginary "twisted claw"--and then I planned to spring at his head and quickly tie his antenna in a sailor's knot--I knew he was almost blind and without his antenna to help he couldn't feel where I was--so I would have him more or less at my mercy---
BUT!
When I got VERY close to him I realized two things: first--he was indeed as blind as a bat, and second and most surprising--his huge claw WAS twisted--VERY twisted--in fact so twisted that I doubted very much if he could even defend himself from a very small crab, or from anything else!
Crawly's big bully fierceness was just one big hoax! A bluff!
...
"But Crawly", I continued, "Surely you are aware that that wonderful, strong, dangerous CLAW of yours has a slight, but definite, twist?"
"Ridiculous!" Crawly snorted. "Mind yourself, dear Constable--or I might have to teach you a lesson in good manners!"
"OH, I mean no offense!" I quickly said, "If you will allow me to approach quite near, I will point it out to you--and since, as I have said, I have claws of my own, perhaps I can even suggest an old Crab Family recipe for straightening crooked claws..."
"What?!" growled the lobster, "You forget yourself when you are speaking to your betters, Mister Crab. Mend your ways, Sir, or..."
"No, really Crawly--may I come closer? I will point out to you what I am sure is only a minor and temporary defect..."
"Come here at once, Crab--and come as close as ever you want! Approach, Crab, and tremble!!"
...
(Oh well--here goes nothin'! I thought.)"Excuse me, Crawly." I said in the sincere tone of voice I save for these occasions, "That IS a wonderful claw you've got there!"
"Ahh--yes. Perhaps it is at that." Crawly replied--extending his great armored claw--not altogether offended and maybe even a little pleased by my remark.
"It is kind of a shame though that it is a bit--well--shall we say--twisted."
"WHAT? TWISTED? Dear crab, really! Many have admired my great claw (since mature people of my kind often have only one) but no-one has EVER called it twisted!"
"I certainly do not wish to offend you, Crawly--but I am rather an expert on claws--I myself have two very serviceable ones right here as you may have noticed..."
"I certainly HAVE noticed, my poor crab, your pathetic
weak little, oh my, excuse my chuckle--claws."
...
